Thoughts on Mothers Day

May 7

Here’s one from the Archives.

Some thoughts about Mother’s Day.

Historically, Mother’s Day is not the best day for me.

Don’t get me wrong-

My Husband and Boys have worked to help me make the best of the day, and I’m so blessed that being a Mother myself has given me a greater perspective.

But when alls said and done, the anchorless reality of not having a Mother in my life nags at the subconscious and I have to fight off the demons to keep it there. My particular demons involve depression and anxiety- yours might be different but whatever drags you towards the darkness despite the light… those are them!

So If this time threatens your temporary truce with the darkness- to pull you under, What are the things that you do to stay afloat?

For me?!

I have to rally the reinforcements. Those who know me and know my story know that even this can be so hard to do. I’m not a gal who asks for help. I do pay ppl good money to help though! Good people. I have worked diligently to discover and discern what/who that looks like for me.

~I’m setting time to go Inwards, and withdraw into my thoughts, allowing myself to have them, and then allowing myself to let them go- so I can be present to the world going on around me AND NOT IN MY HEAD ALL OF THE TIME.

~I’m sharing more often about my struggles. Whether it’s in my therapists office, or in conversation with friends and family. Not everything is always “JUST FINE” or “ALRIGHT”.

~I’m focusing on time away from the things that drain me- and a big one is social media.

For me, Facebook and even Instagram can be a numbing agent and a big time suck if I’m not mindful about how I’m using it! (don’t mistake this for any kind of Anti-Stance on Social Media…..because THAT would be quite the Hypocritical post now, wouldn’t it?)

~ I get OUTSIDE. Preferably in the woods. On a trail. It’s where I breathe the best. In fact, it seems to be the only place where I can get a real deep breath. I listen to the stories the birds and the breeze tell me. I don’t OVERTHINK, Stress or Worry on trail.

~ I Try to practice GRATITUDE.

*Despite my sucky draw of the cards: I am extremely Grateful for a plethora of things!!! BECAUSE of where I have been,I believe I am a better Mother to my own kids, A better HUMAN, really.

Which leads me to this:

I TRY TO FULLY ACCEPT THE LOVE AND GIFTS OF MY CHILDREN.

This not only for me, but to honor the memory of my Mother, who showed up for me in countless ways, a daughter not of Blood, but of the heart. Who did her very best with what little time she was given by the Universe.

SO I will LISTEN with LOVE and GRATITUDE and MEMORY:

To the laughter and wonder and Innocence in my Grandsons voice,

In the WISDOM of my Youngest Son’s words,

In the unflappable LOVE of my Middle Son’s Actions

And I will HOPE for the Healing of the Hurt and Anger that surround my Oldest Son’s Heart.

AND… I will STRIVE to be the Mother that I wish my Bio Mother could be.

And I will ALLOW myself to be HONORED, and CHERISHED and not be Marred by what wasn’t and Simply…

LOVE WHAT IS.